Looks can be deceiving

Over the course of my career, whether as a service-learning student or administrator, I have been on more than 21 service trips. The social issues have ranged from poverty and homelessness to the environment and natural disasters. Each time I travel and participate in an experience like this I learn and grow, this week will be no different.

The first day my group went to Holy Apostles Soup Kitchen, one of the oldest and largest soup kitchens in Manhattan. Serving nearly 1,000 people Mon-Fri they have been a staple in meeting the most immediate need of hunger since 1982. Members of our group were assigned various tasks from the dish room,  serving on the food line, discarding uneaten food and for me, clearing and wiping down tables 6 and 7. 

The doors opened around 10:30am and as people started to file in I was reminded that the homeless and people experiencing poverty look and are no different than you or I. Whether they were wearing dress shoes, Columbia jackets, jeans or even socks with flip flops, we all had one thing in common: we are all human and trying to make it in this world. Most of us think we can "see" poverty but this trip is researching me that most of the time we can't. Sure some of the folks were visibly struggling with either a physical disability or mental illness and others wore the sign of poverty through the look of distress on their face or tattered shoes on their feet. But truth is, I wouldn't have been able to tell the majority of people were experiencing poverty if I had ran in to them on the street or subway; and chances are with 58,000 homeless people living in the shelter system here in NYC that I have. 

All afternoon I kept thinking, why do we trust our eyes to pass judgment,  for good or for ill, when looks can be so deceiving? I was reminded about how many times I have passed judgment simply based on looks alone. Judgement creates barriers, it prevents us from seeing what's really in front of us and from making an authentic connection. 

It's been interesting because we've also seen this judgement being passed on at some of our sites. Going in to this trip I assumed that the people working in the pantries and soup kitchens were all compassionate people who understood the reality of Poverty and that it's way more complicated than what we can see on the surface. One of the pantries we served at the 2nd day was phenomenonally organized yet the staff were extremely rude to the prospective clients. I recognize it could be my perception, as for I was viewing the interactions through my "Midwest nice" lens,  however I took the time to talk with the caseworker a little more in depth and discovered that she gave no benefit of the doubt for any person that walked in the door. She told me I wouldn't believe how many people they meet that are scamming the system, receiving benefits like disability when they don't have one, etc. My momma always told me that one bad apple can spoil them all,  but I've never seen it really in action.  Knowing what we have been learning from class through the John Iceland Book and factors presentations I knew I couldn't just let misinformation go unchallenged and so tossed back the information we learned in class from Allison regarding the number of people who are denied disability their first application (40%) and then have to wait 30-90 days to apply for reconsideration and then wait 12 months to get a hearing about whether their reconsideration will be accepted just to be denied again. The whole process for many people is extremely cumbersome and lengthy, chances are that most people looking to scam the system wouldn't have the patience or endurance to actually go through the entire process to do so. 

Knowing I wasn't going to change her mind, and recognizing you become jaded when you deal with the same stuff day in and day out I decided that the only one's opinion and actions I could control were my own. Looking at the bracelet I wear on my wrist that says "Be the Change", I took it upon myself to hang out in the waiting room, and greet people and try to give them a little direction in the process of signing up although I myself was foggy on the process. But we've talked a lot about perceptions this week and how first impressions often times are the lasting impression someone has. If I was an individual coming in who really needed pantry services but was treated rudely I would have probably not come back and spread negative advertisement about how I was treated. But just like we often pass the wrong judgement on the poor it would have been the wrong judgment to pass on the pantry as for they are doing wonderful work and help more than 7,000 people every month!! So the next time you run in to someone rude or impatient pause and remember that we are all facing trials and we have no idea what that person is facing or experiencing. Everyone has a lens in which they view the world and they are entitled to their perspective but if we could all be a little kinder perhaps we will make a real connection with someone that can make a difference.